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Colin & HelenApparently I am obliged to write a weekly blog, about feelings and things in general, so….here goes.

Now that the “Just Giving” site is up and running, I would like to thank all those who have donated and for the kind comments they have posted. It really does mean a great deal to me and makes such a difference to the way I look at life. I am turning into Bob Geldorf from Live Aid with his “ Give us your f***ing money!” Joking apart though, every penny does go into finding a cure which will be a truly marvellous day, too late for me and many others with the same condition but hopefully for future generations and some of the little mites we see around the hospitals.
Let me start with a few “Thank You’s” in no particular order………

  1. I’m sorry God, you’re not included in this one!
  2. To Tony Russell and his son, Dan for recommending this charity and for tirelessly working to get everything up and running while simultaneously training for the Iron Man challenge in Nice which will also be for Headcase.
  3. My wife, Helen, for her patience and care. Also for her obvious frustration about only having 1/3 of the bed instead of ½ now that the steroids have kicked in again!! I’ve gone from being “Darling” as a pet name to “Moonface”!
  4. Debbie, the lovely landlady of The Crown pub in Church St, Litlington, near Royston for all her efforts and her link between us and “The Stars”!

As far as things are going for me, I’ve had a relatively pain free treatment up to now. Radiotherapy has been completed and I am on a break from 2nd stage chemo which runs at 5 days on and 23 off. My next bloods and chemo are on 5th Feb. Tiredness is about the only symptom apart from a sense of confusion when I’m talking or listening in a crowded situation. Oh, and my concentration can be limited and I keep losing things as well as having the odd hallucination.. (one really strange one the other night was when I really thought Chelsea had gone out of the League Cup!)

I am trying to go to as many games as possible however it’s a struggle not only for me but also for my “carer” Bootsy who looks after me. I think he’s going for a day’s training next week due to two recent incidents when firstly, I tumbled out of the tube flat on my face and then when I fell back down an escalator, both times landing in a heap but laughing.
I am so grateful to Bootsy and the others on the list above. Actually I am grateful to everybody who has been so kind, very grateful, it’s really humbling.

We have a few events coming up with the support and appearance of ex Chelsea players and with the friends and family who have harangued the CFC to continue to support us.

For my part, I am in the process of selling off all the Chelsea memorabilia that I have collected over the years and we shall be making our personal donation by next weekend, if my computer stays up and running. Please be assured that I do read everything you post but I am often quite slow in replying.
PLEASE KEEP UP THE GREAT SUPPORT! And ………Donate, Donate, Donate! No Helen, not doughnut, doughnut – I’m fat enough!

Looking back on all this, my story and my feelings, I think my D Day came right out of the blue. No warning, just bang! There was no explanation and I have never lost consciousness. Helen was with me 24/7, discussing my case with the doctors and then making things clear to me with the best of her medical knowledge. My initial reaction was that just two months before I had experienced the best day ever, Chelsea and Munich and that now was the worst day that could be imagined, but it was not yet 100% certain so there was just a little bit of hope to cling to. That hope disappeared though when the consultant took us into that dreaded “Little Room” in Queens Hospital, London……….

Next week: Coming to Terms with Death Row.